What Strategies Help Minimize Conflict in High-Conflict Divorces?

What Are Some Characteristics of High-Conflict Divorces?

Divorce can be traumatic and can leave everlasting scars on the involved parties. It can worsen if it entails animosity and an endless cycle of disagreements. High-conflict divorces can take years to resolve, taking a toll on your emotional well-being and scathing your children.

Family law lawyers in Campbell highlight that high-conflict divorces often have the following characteristics:

• Emotional and psychological effects: High-conflict divorces bring about intense emotions such as anger, fear, restlessness, and powerlessness. The feelings can lead to physical, verbal, or emotional abuse, further complicating the situation. The conflict could leave you feeling betrayed or abandoned.
• Extended legal battles: The disagreements in a high-conflict divorce can take long to resolve, as they involve repeated litigation over issues such as property division, alimony, child support, and access. Depending on the complexity, the disputes can last several years, sometimes throughout the children’s childhood.
• Effects on children: Children in high-conflict divorces are often at risk of developing emotional and psychological problems. Seeing their parents separate, fail to communicate, and argue over legal issues may cause them to experience sadness, fear, divided loyalty, and lack of love.
• Changes in personality traits: Spouses who were previously loving and contained may exhibit new personality traits they didn’t have before the divorce. They may exhibit an overinflated sense of importance, an inability to communicate clearly, an inability to be accountable, and a lack of empathy.

Sadly, a high-conflict divorce with all or some of these characteristics may not be handled like an ordinary one where the divorcing spouses are amicable. Preparing adequately to minimize conflict would be important if you’re in the middle of one. Skilled Campbell contested divorce attorneys can work with you.

What Can I Do to Minimize Conflict During Divorce?

It can be scary to go through a high-conflict divorce as you may not know what to expect, but there are ways to manage the repercussions proactively. Contested divorce attorneys in Campbell offer these strategies that can help reduce or de-escalate conflicts when or before they happen:

Strive to Maintain Privacy About the Divorce

Telling everyone who cares to listen about your divorce woes may lead to more stress than you’re already experiencing. Your high-conflict spouse could intensify their behavior if they find out you have shared what should be a private matter with other people.

While it is one thing to tell important people around you why you may not be your best self at the moment, it’s an entirely different thing to go all out with the details, which may not sit well with your ex-spouse. Having support from a therapist or divorce coach might help you contain your emotions to avoid overspills into the rest of your life.

Don’t Bad-Mouth Your Ex-Spouse

Bad-mouthing your ex-spouse may make you feel better about yourself, but it only does more harm than good. Disparaging them in front of your children creates more turmoil in the children’s already wounded emotions. Children of high-conflict divorces tend to have adverse mental health outcomes and are two to four times more likely to be clinically disturbed.

Negative comments about their other parent only put them at a higher risk of constant mental and emotional disturbance, substance abuse, parental alienation, and educational failure. Even if what you say is true, avoid painting a bad image of the other parent, mainly because you still have to co-parent after the divorce.

Instead, talk to your children positively about why things didn’t work out between you and their other parent without necessarily going into the details. Additionally, strive to create a positive and effective co-parenting plan that upholds communication, bonding, respect, and appreciation between all the parties involved.

Set Clear Communication Guidelines and Boundaries

Since high-conflict divorces are often characterized by poor communication or lack of it, contested divorce lawyers in Campbell recommend that you create clear communication rules and set healthy boundaries for peace of mind. The following tips could help:

• Utilize written or neutral communication methods, such as emails or texts, and document interactions to minimize the likelihood of misunderstandings or miscommunication.
• Establish boundaries concerning the nature and frequency of communication, especially concerning children’s matters. You could limit discussions about the divorce and avoid personal or emotional confrontations.
• If co-parenting is a challenge, utilize a parenting coordinator. The coordinator can help manage and facilitate communication on issues related to the children while addressing disputes.

Understand Your Feelings and Emotions Throughout the Process

It’s easy to get overwhelmed by emotions in a high-conflict divorce. Family law attorneys in Campbell say that it’s essential to get in touch with these feelings and address them appropriately. Recognize that anger, sadness, disappointment, fear, and frustration are all part of the process.

Dealing with emotions and practicing self-care are crucial to helping you heal and rebuild your life. Accept that you are experiencing a great deal of pain, but it shouldn’t define you or block you from experiencing new beginnings. Seek the help of professional therapists if the pain becomes too much to bear.

A Skilled Family Law Attorney Helping You Navigate a High-Conflict Divorce

A high-conflict divorce can be challenging to navigate, especially if effective communication is a problem or legal issues keep repeating themselves. However, you can minimize the stress in such a situation by employing the above strategies recommended by experienced contested divorce lawyers in Campbell.

Hepner & Pagan, LLP, is a top-notch family law firm with knowledgeable attorneys in Campbell. We can evaluate your case and help you devise effective strategies to help you navigate a high-conflict divorce for the most favorable outcome. Despite what you’re going through, we can help you pave a path to a fresh start. Call us at 408-688-9153 to schedule a consultation.