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You likely did not marry your spouse thinking that one day it would end in divorce. Truthfully, most marriages experience hard times. Although many couples can work through these difficulties together and continue on the road of wedded bliss, others find it too hard to overcome the challenges they face. So, how do you know if you and your spouse are simply facing a hurdle in your marriage, or if it is time to start seriously considering divorce? The following are just some of the issues that arise for our clients.
Loss of Intimacy
When many people think of being intimate with their spouse, they often first think of the physical connection they share. While this is a very important part of intimacy, there are other ways you and your spouse can be intimate with each other, as well. Intimate relationships are built on implicitly trusting each other, and being willing to share all parts of oneself with another person. Writing notes of gratitude to your spouse, dancing together, doing chores for each other, and going on regular date nights are all ways you can be intimate with your spouse without being overtly physical with each other.
Being intimate is often easier at the beginning of a marriage than it is many years down the road. Over the years, life becomes busy with work, raising a family, and maintaining a household. It is sometimes too easy to lose the connection with your spouse. Some couples can realize that they have lost part of their intimacy and overcome it. If you constantly find yourself asking your partner to be intimate though, and being turned down, there may be a difficult decision to make. That does not always mean divorce, but it does mean communicating about how to address this difficult topic with your spouse.
Unwilling to Choose Love
It would be great if the infatuation felt for each other at the beginning of a marriage stayed over time, but that is often not the case. True love does not always mean you and your spouse have to act infatuated and head over heels for each other every day. However, it does mean that on some days, couples sometimes have to choose to love each other. They have to make a conscious choice to put the needs of their spouse over their own.
Our lawyers always support ways in which people can save their marriage and are strong supporters of counseling, couples retreats, and other therapeutic resources that help couples reconnect in an effort to stay together if that is what both people want.
The choice is not an easy one, but it is one that sometimes has to be made. It is part of working on your marriage. If you find that you are no longer willing to do this, or you feel as though your spouse regularly puts themselves first, it might be time to consider how much longer you want to keep trying.
Our Divorce Lawyers in Santa Clara County Can Help You Through the Difficult Process
Making the decision to get a divorce is never easy, but there are times when it is necessary. If you are considering filing, or have already started the process but do not have legal representation, our Santa Clara County divorce lawyers at Hepner & Pagan, LLP can answer all of your questions and provide the compassionate legal support for divorce proceedings you need. Call us now at 408-688-9153 or contact us online to schedule a consultation.
